One Simple Word

Not for the first time, Joshua felt frustrated.  He closed the book and pushed it to the far side of his table then he turned quickly away, to look out of the small window that gave the light to his room.  He could no longer face the book, it seemed to repulse him and in that moment, he needed for it to be as far away from him as possible.  If he could have done, he would have thrown it out of the window to give vent to his frustration, but books were objects of learning and therefore to be given the utmost respect.  Just like all teachers.  It didn't seem to matter how hard he studied, it made no difference which method he used, it didn't matter how much time he dedicated to his books, Joshua just could not seem to make progress.  All of the other boys he had started with had long since completed the training and had moved on, becoming missionaries to spread the word and the teachings to the rest of the world.  Only Joshua remained behind, knowing that if he did not complete his studies by the time the new trainees arrived, he would have to leave as a failure.  And just as the water of the river flows ever on toward the ocean, so that day was fast approaching.

Through the small window, life was going on as it always did.  Outside, in the peaceful calm of this place, the monks went about their daily chores and habits: there were monks tending the gardens; in the shade of a palm, two sat mending the fishing nets; on the lawn, a few sat cross-legged, deep in meditation; some were sitting reading; and Joshua could see two hooded figures walking around the paths in quiet conversation.  One of these he knew was his teacher.  Not for the first time, Joshua felt ashamed.  All of these people had managed to do what he could not do.  He must be stupid!

Wearily, he turned back to his table and opened his book once more.  He stared blankly a the page in front of him.  It might just as well have been written in a foreign language.  Nothing made sense.  It wasn't the words that he could not read.  No, that had never been a problem - he had been able to read a book even before his elder brother.  It was the message in the words that he could not decipher.

He did not know how long he had been sitting there, staring at the book, lost in thought, when a gentle knock came at open the door.  Joshua looked up to see his teacher standing there.

"May we speak Joshua?", the teacher asked and then motioned for Joshua to follow.

Joshua closed his book, stood from his simple wooden stool and followed.  They walked along the short corridor, down the stairs and out through the gardens.  In accordance with the custom, Joshua walked a step behind his teacher.  The teacher walked with purpose, head still covered, so Joshua was unable to read any expression or to guess the nature of the conversation that was to come.  Outside, they crossed the gardens and headed out through the front gate and followed the path down to the beach.  Once on the beach, they walked on for a few minutes more, until finally the teacher stopped and turned to face Joshua.

"Joshua", the teacher said simply.

"My teacher", came the reply.  It was the custom and the expected way to begin a conversation.

The teach continued.  "Joshua, you have been a good student.  No one could question your dedication and commitment to your studies.  I have witnessed it, as have many others.  You are commended for such commitment.  But, as you know, you have not progressed passed a certain point.  This is a failing."

Joshua looked down at the sand. Yes, it was a failing.  He was a failure.  He felt so ashamed and a tear escaped from his eye and tricked down his nose to fall onto the dry sand.

"Look at me Joshua."  Joshua lifted his head to look into the shadowy face of his teacher. "The failing is not yours.  The failing is mine.  I am your teacher.  I have failed to find a way to help you to progress.  It is I who am ashamed."

This made no sense to Joshua.  How could his teacher be ashamed of something that he had failed to do?  After all, all of the other disciples had succeeded with this teacher.  Joshua remained silent, unsure of what to say.

"I have been asked to tell you that you must leave us Joshua.  It is over for you.  I am sorry."

"But the new trainees do no begin for two months more!  I still have time."  Joshua felt his world beginning to collapse around him.

"It has been decided.  There is no more time.  You will leave at first light tomorrow."

Joshua looked down at the sand again.  He felt utter shame.  He felt a complete failure.  No one had ever failed before.  The irony struck him.  He had always wanted to be remembered for what he did in his life, but this was not how he had imagined it.  "Perhaps dreams do not always come true in the way we imagine", he thought out loud.

"Yes, that is true Joshua.  There is always another way to see life, always another way to see a situation.  It is not always as we perceive it with our own eyes.  But for those who believe, dreams always come true, as long as they are dreams conceived in the heart."

They stood silently on the beach for a time, each lost in their own thoughts.  The waves of the great ocean rolled in and pulled back.  A pair of fisher birds flew overhead.  The silence was broken by the teacher.

"As I told you, I am the one who has failed and for this, I must pay the price.  I also will leave this place tomorrow and I will head out as a missionary once more, so that I may think on what has happened and find a solution and peace once more amongst the people.  I will not be allowed to return here again."

"But that is unfair!  You have done nothing wrong."

"It is the custom Joshua and as such, it must be respected and followed.  Before we parted, I wanted to give you one last piece of knowledge.  I am not sure if I am permitted to do this thing, but something tells me that I should."

With that, the teacher pushed back the hood.  "Since I am no longer a teacher, I am not permitted to wear the hood any longer."

Joshua stood looking, trying desperately not to stare.  He had long known that his teacher was a woman, but he had never expected this.  She was beautiful!  And she was so young!  Perhaps only a year or two more than he was.  There was a silence for a few moments.  Joshua waited for his teacher to continue.

"You have seen the waves on the beach many times.  But do you really see them?", the teacher asked.

Joshua looked.  Of course he saw the waves!   Was he blind as well as stupid?

The teacher continued.  "Each time a wave rolls in, it moves the sand, which alters the beach, which changes life.  This is how it has been since the dawning of time and creation.  Because the whole of the universe is built upon one simple word..."

With that, the teacher bent down and wrote a single word in the sand.  Love.