I've written in a previous blog about how I write from my heart. This means that whatever I write contains a part of me nestled between each of the letters, a small part of me hiding in the blank spaces between words. I invest myself into my work. That has always been my way. It is completely unavoidable for me. Working with my collection of poems meant that it was necessary to re-read and review all of my work. My poems date back to my time in Budapest in 2003, since this is the time when I first began to write in earnest and to keep my writing, rather than discard it as nonsense. I started to write as part of the process to unlock my creative side, something that I had always thought did not exist. It seems that I was wrong about that. This was also the time when I began to understand the path that was set before me. I was not actually walking my true path at the time, but I was beginning to comprehend that the life I was leading was counter to the one that my heart desired. This was the time when my eyes were being opened to life.
So, I began to write poetry as part of the creative journey and not because it was ever my intention. Poems flowed from me and I felt compelled to write down whatever words formed in my head. The collection that I have put together spans ten years of my life, from the early days of discovering my creative talent, through the discovery of my true path, and along the journey that has led me to here and to now. Throughout that time, I have been discovering the truth about myself. I was able to categorise the poems into four clear topics: love, loss, life, the path. These poems read like the story of my life and through them, I release my emotions. What became evident when I went back and read my poems again, was that many themes recur throughout my writing. Broadly speaking, these recurring themes fall into these topics:
- The search for love
- Feelings of self-loathing
- Feeling undeserving of love
- The path
My realisation has been that, by revisiting my poetry, the truth, the truth of my life, has issued forth on to the page. I know without a shadow of a doubt the rightness of this. When I lose myself in the process of writing, in the art of creation, I create an incredibly strong and deep connection with my heart. In these poems that I have written, you will find my heart. What is written, is true. It is undeniable.
There is one thing that connects all of the themes in my poetry. It is the same thing that drives us ever on. Whether you know it or not, whether you are conscious of it or not, does not matter, it will exist any way. From the moment we are born into this world, until the moment the flames of our souls are extinguished and we take a step on to a new path, it is the one thing for which we all seek. That one thing is love. Love is truly at the heart of everything. To discover it, you need only look inside of yourself. For you are love. Do not seek love elsewhere until you have found in first from within. Once you know this, once you accept that you are love, your life will change forever. When you understand that you are love, then you will know that you are walking your one true path. And from that moment on, all things will be one.