Authenticity In Life Means The Classroom Too

Today, a group of students in my trainee teacher placement class told me that I was their favourite student teacher, and that they had informed their parents that I was very nice.  This was only my fourth day of placement with the class and at the time, I could not help but feel an immense sense of personal achievement.  One of my goals had been to create connections between myself and the students, as I see that as a way of facilitating the classroom.  When I mentioned this to my associate teacher, she warned me not to be too friendly with the students.  This raises an interesting question: in terms of relationships in the classroom, what is the acceptable distance between a teacher and their students?

I have to be me.  I cannot be any other person.  That was one of the hardest lessons of my life (along with understanding the need for self love) and my inability to be my authentic and true self, caused me to pursue a path and life goals that were not of my own making, but rather the path on which I thought I should walk.  When I am not true self, I can feel that life does not resonate with my heart, we are out of sync, and although the person I see reflected back at me in the mirror looks like me, inside I know that we are different.  Being true to yourself and true to everything in which you believe is not always easy.  We are all under extreme and intense pressures to conform, to meet the wants and needs of our parents, siblings, friends, peers, colleagues, and society in general.  We are bombarded every waking moment with imagery and ideas about what is the right way to look and the lifestyle to which we should aspire.  It's hard not to be persuaded when everything around you tells you the same thing.  These clothes, this hairstyle, these shoes, this career, this house, this mortgage, this car, this phone, these appliances, this scent, this watch, and on and on and on...  

In England last year, after some unfortunate circumstances, I dusted off the old life and I tried it on again for size, the one from which I had turned away from almost nine years previously.  I could still do it, I could go through the motions, I could see how I would be able to make it all work again, just as I had once before.  The job was not difficult, my colleagues were an amazing bunch, the business objectives were aligned with my own thinking, the commute (although a pain) was manageable, the pay was sufficient, and the perks adequate.  I rented a small but comfortable apartment within five minutes walk of the beach, close to shops and other amenities.  I bought a car so that I could make the commute to work.  Suddenly, after years of pursuing my own personal life goals and dreams, I was caught up in a different life, the one I had left behind.  As I sat, hour after hour in front of a computer screen in the office, I knew that this was not my purpose in life.  As good at the work as I might be, it does nothing for my pulse and for my passion.  I cannot find life by looking at a screen because for me, life is in the living, breathing, miracle of nature and in people.  That was the truth from which I had hidden from for so long before and I vowed I would not make the same mistake twice.  At least not unless I had no other option.

Here I am then, ten weeks on from leaving that job, that apartment, and that life.   I've just completed my fourth day of my first trainee teacher placement and I am dealing with life again.  These are lives that I can see, hear, and smell.  These are lives that are beautifully unique, each and every one of them, whether they know it or not, a living, breathing, miracle.  And I want them to know that.  That is why I came to teaching.  These are not just part of a job, something that I have to deal with on a daily basis.  These kids represent a fantastic opportunity, a chance to engage in their lives, and to hopefully make a positive difference.  Through our interactions with each other we will learn together, we will grow together, we will evolve together.  They will enrich my life, as I hope that I will be able to enrich theirs.  How can I disengage myself from that opportunity?  How can I partially close the door on that chance?  Why should I?

Of course, there is a need to maintain a distance.  The line of teacher and student must not become blurred.  I am certainly not looking to be a mate or a buddy.  Does that prevent me from making honest connections and sharing with them?  I do not think it does.  In all of my life, I have connected with people from all walks of life, the rich, the poor, the office cleaners, factory workers, secretaries, scuba instructors, executives, and all of those somewhere in between.  No one person is defined by what they do and it is an error in judgement to believe that someone is the job that they do, rather than the person who they are.  How do you know what is in their heart and their head?  What we do today is only the briefest glimpse into the story of our life, a snapshot of time that does not define who we are.  What defines us is how we act and whether we are brave enough to act in harmony with our true self, when everything around us tells us otherwise.  I cannot be my true and authentic self if I create artificial lines and barriers in the classroom.  I have to be me.  I know no other way.

Carl Rogers and William Glasser, two American psychologists, both adhered strongly to the view that authenticity in the classroom was a key factor in generating an environment conducive to learning.  They saw the role of the teacher as a facilitator and leader, rather than the boss type who simply laid down the rules and instructed.  I see that to get the most out of someone, you need to understand them, to know what makes them tick, what they like to do, what hobbies and passions they have.  This information is crucial in making connections with the students.  Not superficial connections for the sake of it, but deep and meaningful connections that show that you care about them - because you do.  If this is what I am doing, then I am happy with the situation.  As long as we can maintain a teaching and learning environment that observes the jointly agreed classroom rules, and is respectful, then I see no problem whatsoever.  If the students view me as a friend, then so be it.  I will be their friend for the time that they are in my class.  I will support them when they need it, I will help them when they need it, and I will tell them when they are wrong or out of line.  That's what you want from a friend isn't it?  That's what we all need.  These kids don't want or need someone busting their butts all day, they need a place where they can come and feel welcome, respected, and supported.

If I find that this does not work then I'll re-evaluate and I'll learn from it.  That's what life is all about.  We learn, we grow, we evolve.  It is the never ending process of what it means to be alive and to be human.  I am learning all the time, about these amazing, talented, and special kids that I have the honour and privilege of working with, and from everything that occurs around me.  I'll never stop learning and I'll never stop being the true and authentic me. If that means that teaching is not the job for me after all, then so be it, because I am never going to stop caring about people and wanting the best for them.

~ ~ ~

Love is not something that I do
Love is not something that I give
Love is not something that I have 
Love is simply all that I am
And I return love to the universe
Through the openness of my heart
And the authenticity of my words, actions, and deeds
So that it may cause a ripple, that creates a wave
That changes every thing, in every place, for all time.

Andy Smith, 26 March 2015

_________________________

Spiritual Evolution: The Reason Why We Are Here

This afternoon, I fell into a discussion with one of my students about life, or to be more correct, death.  This is not as morbid as you might at first think, since I'm teaching a Rescue Diver course, and we had been talking about life saving and the effectiveness of providing rescue breathing and chest compressions (CPR).  This conversation took on a whole new meaning, when out of the blue, my student told me something that left me dumbstruck and momentarily speechless.

As we were discussing the steps in responding to a non-breathing diver and how, through the use of rescue breaths and CPR, maintaining the flow of oxygenated blood to the brain is absolutely critical, Charlie told me that he was particularly interested in this point, since he had arrived home one day and walked into his brother's bedroom, where he had discovered him laying dead on the floor.  He was not even twenty years old and his brother had taken his own life. 

Charlie told me that his brother had been good looking, that they came from a middle class upbringing, that they needed for nothing, that he was popular and well liked at school, that he dated many girls.  Essentially, that there was no known reason at all for him to have ended his own life so early and so abruptly.  Charlie surmised that his brother had figured out that there was no point to continuing, since he already had everything, there was nothing left for him.  What goes on in the mind of someone who takes their own life, particularly in these circumstances, is not for me to say.  Each of us has our own demons, it is just that for most of us, those demons remain under control and in check.  I know that for myself only too well.  I told Charlie about a good friend of mine who had died unexpectedly and suddenly a few years ago, and we got to talking about life and death, and the reason why we are here.  I have a theory.  I call it Spiritual Evolution.

Spiritual Evolution.  Let me try to explain what I mean by this term.  Spiritual Evolution is the process of developing the soul.  We each develop our own soul through having experiences, meeting people, going places, attaining knowledge, and feeling emotions.  In fact, everything that we do offers us the chance to grow our soul, to move it forward.  As we do this, so too do we evolve our soul's into something more than they were before.  It is growth, advancement, and change.  I see spiritual evolution as our mission in this life.

Everyone has a voice inside of them - the voice of their heart.  That voice tells you constantly what you should do, what is the right thing for you.  Some of us ignore it and some of us heed it.  I believe that by following that voice, we follow our one true path and by walking that path, we walk in the light.  It is on our true path, basking in our own light, that we truly evolve our soul, giving it the best possible chance to attain its goal, its mission.  Our one true path is our spiritual quest, our mission for this life.

How many times have you stopped suddenly, aware that the situation in which you find yourself has happened before?  This occurs often in life and it is my belief that each time that it does, it is because there is a lesson of fundamental importance and consequence to our spiritual journey, that we need to learn and to assimilate.  If we fail to take the correct course of action, the situation will inevitably come around again and again, until such a time that we make the right choice or take the action that is necessary.  The situation may occur in a different place, with different people, but it will be the same lesson that is being shown to us.  When we make the right choices then we have learned the lesson and we are able to move on.  The learning of the lesson evolves our soul and this situation will no longer repeat itself in the same way again.  Déjà vu works in the same way, only déjà vu is our remembrance of the same situation but not in this particular physical manifestation of ourselves, but in a previous incarnation of our physical aspect on this planet - in another life.

Let's put this all together.  The soul is trying to attain its ultimate state, to reach the point of nirvana - the point at which the release of the soul from the physical body in which it exists occurs.  To do that, the soul must evolve.  As we journey through life, the soul is learning, changing and evolving.  When it reaches a certain point of the evolutionary process, there is no more that it can achieve in this life.  At that point, it is necessary for the soul to be released from the physical body in which it resides and if it has not yet reached its ultimate objective, then it is reborn into a different physical body and the process of evolution continues.  On and on.  Time and again.  Until the evolution is complete.

I came up with this theory because I wanted to explain to myself why it is that some people die early. You see, when my friend died, I did not understand how someone who enjoyed life as fully as he had, was taken away.  It seemed to me that it was too soon.  But perhaps it wasn't.  What if his soul had reached its goal for this particular life?  Now it was free to leave and so it found a way of breaking out of the physical body.  I don't know if the soul of my friend exists again on this planet in a different physical form, or whether he has left and moved on to a different realm, I'll probably never know that.  It does not matter though, since when I look back at his life, I see someone who clearly sucked out all the marrow, and then sucked out some more.

An acquaintance of mine, who worked as a nurse in a hospital for the mentally ill, once told me that she did not believe in fate because she was unable to explain why some innocent people needed to suffer at the hands of tormentors and abusers.  "How could that be their fate?" she had asked me.  Well, perhaps Spiritual Evolution helps to explain this.  Even though in this life, they suffered, in the greater scheme of evolution of the soul, perhaps that was a necessary suffering, so that they could assimilate a lesson.  We only see a small piece of the jigsaw puzzle, one single thread in the great tapestry that is life.  How can we truly know what is going on, what is the whole picture in which we are just one tiny, miniscule part?  We cannot.

Let me clarify one more thing, because I know the question is burning away in the back of your mind.  You're thinking to yourself that surely, with the rapid growth in the population of humans on this planet, there cannot be enough souls to populate all of the new bodies that have been born? Right?  Well, here is what I think.  Spiritual Evolution occurs throughout all of life that exists on this planet.  Every living thing has a soul of some kind.  Some are simple, others are very complex.  Each is at a different state in its evolution.  I also believe that all life on this planet must be in equilibrium, meaning that the sum of all life, must always equate to the same answer.  More humans, means less life forms of other types.  Therefore, the number of souls in existence is also balanced by the number of living bodies.  More simply put: all things are one.

So, perhaps Charlie's brother had accomplished all that was needed in that particular incarnation of his physical being, and it was just his time to depart and move on.  In choosing the manner in which he did, it is entirely possible that he passed on a message to Charlie.  Perhaps this event was needed to alter the destiny of Charlie, to steer him towards where he needed to go for his own spiritual evolution?  Without that event in the life of Charlie, maybe he would not have been sitting with me in Costa Rica, learning to become a Rescue Diver and going beyond to become a dive instructor.  No one really knows.  All I know is that I believe in my theory of Spiritual Evolution and I'm sticking to it.

_________________________