Wednesday, 15 August 2012

Random Thoughts of Nothingness

Wednesday morning, somewhere in the middle of August, somewhere in the middle of Montreal.  Actually, I know exactly where I am and when I am - although when I am depends on whether you accept the point at which all time is fixed, because if you do not, then we are at any time and personally, I like that idea very much.

Starbucks on Avenue du Mont Royal Est at the junction with Rue de Brebeuf.  A grande non-fat latte, my signature drink at Starbucks, sits to the right side of my laptop, which sits on a small round table, that sits on a grey tiled floor.  It's a grey day, a light rain (we call it a drizzle) falls from the leaden skies above.  I have hope of seeing the big blue stuff later on today.  After Starbucks, I am going to cycle through the park of Mont Royal and test my legs against its slopes.  I love to cycle.  I always have.  Put me on a bicycle of any description and it unlocks something within me.  I immediately surface the kid inside of me.  I cycle as fast as I possibly can for as long as I can, until my legs feel like they have fallen off, then I cruise a little bit and take it easy for a breather, until I feel ready to do it all over again -  and I do, again and again and again.  I pull bunny hops over manhole covers.  When I zoom down a hill, I weave like a madman down the road, zigzagging from one side to the other, imagining that I am snowboarding down a mountain.  Zigzag, what a great word.  I bounce up and down pavements, I weave in and out of the traffic.  At stop lights, I try to balance on the pedals for as long as I possibly can without putting a foot down, seeing whether I can stay like that until the lights turn to green and I can go wild again.  Did I say I'm a kid on a bike?  Maybe I actually become a puppy.  Whatever it is, it unlocks an inner freedom within me, it unlocks my heart.

All this talk of cycling reminds me that I often think of undertaking a great cycle tour one day.  Like from East to West coasts of the USA.  Or across Europe, from London to Istanbul and to the Bosphorus Strait - where Europe ends and Asia begins.  From northern most tip of New Zealand (Cape Reinga) down to the most southerly point.  You always have to go north to south because otherwise it would feel like cycling uphill all the way.  South America, Australia, Africa?  There are many possibilities, each with their own set of risks, people, places and adventures awaiting.

Some days, as I sit and become thoughtful, I become emotional and I ask myself how did I come to be sitting at this Starbucks in Montreal, writing nonsense to no one in particular - I guess I write only for myself.  I become emotional because it is these moments that I realise that I am on my journey, that because I am no longer doing what it was that I used to do, that I am no longer in my old life, that I no longer view the world in the same way, that I realise that anything is possible in life.  I have these moments of clarity and vision and I become incredible humble and grateful for all that has happened to me - the good and the bad - because everything is needed in life in order to move us on in the journey and to steer us towards our spiritual awakening.

And is that the purpose of life, the purpose of human existence?  To spiritually awaken.  To know within your heart that all things are one.  That everything on this planet is of the planet and of the universe.  To realise that every element needed to create life is found here.  To see that the position of the moon, the sun and the earth is perfection.  That every moment miracles occur all around us.  To listen to your heart when it urges you and speaks to you.  To let the tears fall unbidden when the need arises - for sadness, for joy and in pure elation of the beauty of life.  And to walk the path that is written for each of us, that is held deep within each of us, embedded in our hearts.

As I write that last part, indeed a miracle has occurred.  The sun burst forth from behind the greyness and brought a brightness and warm through the window.  Perfect timing. My coffee is just finished.  The park and the hill beckon.

Dear Heart
Awaken dear heart
Beat to the rhythm of life
Share with me your wisdom
Urge me forward
Dare me to take the next step
Show me the door
And I will open it
Keep me company
When the road is lonely
Speak to me of love
When I am alone
Encourage me
Whenever I feel lost
Push me forward
Whenever I tarry
Show me the way
If I become lost
Listen to me
As I listen to you
Give to me hope
If I begin to feel despair
Walk with me dear heart
And I will walk with you.

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